i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
