I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
He felt like a one man threesome
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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