come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
