We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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