Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
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