I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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