Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize