Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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