that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
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Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.