At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear