If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize