What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
