I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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