fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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