Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I need a burrito and a hug.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Randomize
