You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
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