he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
