What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
There's always time for handjobs
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
