There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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