Will you blow on my dice?
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize