I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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