My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
