I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
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I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
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Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
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