im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.