Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?

  (1-805): View more from California

  Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.

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  (805): Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with? (1-805): Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info. http://tfl.nu/n3dd
  Replies (27) Good night (708) Bad night (2707)
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  (619): View more from California

  i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs

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  (619): i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs http://tfl.nu/9vkb
  Replies (83) Good night (625) Bad night (9826)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.

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  (301): Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up. http://tfl.nu/txq5
  Replies (13) Good night (2798) Bad night (634)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.

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  (541): Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist. http://tfl.nu/jqdb
  Replies (18) Good night (5270) Bad night (894)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned

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  (607): Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned http://tfl.nu/r5xe
  Replies (6) Good night (935) Bad night (4813)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid

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  (203): I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid http://tfl.nu/8jas
  Replies (9) Good night (6792) Bad night (872)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place

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  (843): Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place http://tfl.nu/sgjx
  Replies (30) Good night (12592) Bad night (1416)
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  (714): View more from California

  He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.

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  (714): He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later. http://tfl.nu/n2z7
  Replies (10) Good night (999) Bad night (3577)
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  (716): View more from New York

  i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.

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  (716): i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing. http://tfl.nu/i263
  Replies (10) Good night (3184) Bad night (857)
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  (909): View more from California

  I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.

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  (909): I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting. http://tfl.nu/6xjr
  Replies (2) Good night (632) Bad night (391)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts

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  (205): I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts http://tfl.nu/716i
  Replies (0) Good night (408) Bad night (251)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I swear to god those aren't related

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  (724): Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money (412): I swear to god those aren't related http://tfl.nu/w3tr
  Replies (2) Good night (667) Bad night (243)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????

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  (330): Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this???? http://tfl.nu/uhtc
  Replies (9) Good night (303) Bad night (1031)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars

  (770): View more from Georgia

  wait nvm its a dude

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  (770): Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars (770): wait nvm its a dude http://tfl.nu/bj4y
  Replies (0) Good night (404) Bad night (332)
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  (226): View more from Ontario

  Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day

  (1-226): View more from Ontario

  Who do you have class with??

  (226): View more from Ontario

  The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo

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  (226): Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day (1-226): Who do you have class with?? (226): The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo http://tfl.nu/9wq8
  Replies (0) Good night (441) Bad night (187)

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