Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA

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  (203): i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA http://tfl.nu/d77g
  Replies (14) Good night (4730) Bad night (667)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?

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  (305): If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me? http://tfl.nu/0xff
  Replies (13) Good night (567) Bad night (2087)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I showed him my bush... on skype.

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  (817): I showed him my bush... on skype. http://tfl.nu/384w
  Replies (40) Good night (776) Bad night (4141)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.

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  (301): My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make. http://tfl.nu/4how
  Replies (51) Good night (866) Bad night (5133)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?

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  (740): I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went? http://tfl.nu/jir7
  Replies (73) Good night (1286) Bad night (14475)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...

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  (516): Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me... http://tfl.nu/nenj
  Replies (13) Good night (8000) Bad night (1188)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.

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  (585): Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven. http://tfl.nu/xlkq
  Replies (9) Good night (6294) Bad night (985)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there

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  (410): i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there http://tfl.nu/vhdj
  Replies (13) Good night (3224) Bad night (1090)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd

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  (940): Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd http://tfl.nu/3aq9
  Replies (5) Good night (2541) Bad night (1196)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.

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  (651): This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too. http://tfl.nu/gsqe
  Replies (4) Good night (953) Bad night (504)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.

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  (918): I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control. http://tfl.nu/enjx
  Replies (4) Good night (1052) Bad night (447)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter

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  (804): it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter http://tfl.nu/864b
  Replies (5) Good night (1092) Bad night (458)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.

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  (337): The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata. http://tfl.nu/y7xq
  Replies (2) Good night (1284) Bad night (280)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.

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  (320): I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice. http://tfl.nu/yhhi
  Replies (6) Good night (1238) Bad night (299)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!

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  (512): Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it! http://tfl.nu/uy3p
  Replies (8) Good night (1262) Bad night (212)

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