No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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