Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize