She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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