Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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