His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
