So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
