BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
