Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize