He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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