Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
