Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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