The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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