It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
only if we run a train.
done.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
