ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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