i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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