He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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