The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
