dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
