Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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