Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
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remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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