Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
