i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Randomize
