At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize