I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
