bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
How many fucks given?
0.12846
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