I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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