Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
