Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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