i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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