Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Your penis caused this!
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
