do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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