im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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