So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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