Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
