You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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