It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
