he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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