i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Women Are Tweeting Photos Of Their Underwear To Support Rape Victim Whose Thong Was Cited During Trial
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
21 ‘Don’t Say It’ Tweets That Are Gonna Get Said Every Damn Time
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.